why do people love to mess with other people's life

thousand times dat i told myself, "lyla.. u dun need to clarify anything.. u noe urself, people dear to u noe precisely who u r.." but i just need to.. i just need to..

first thing first.. perhaps people who supposed to noe the real fact might not read this blog, but i posted this for da sake of reminding myself on how lame n childish people can be.. looking for ways to drag other people down.. *sigh*

yang i dun understand myself is dat wut have i done to deserve this? i am doing my job as a psychologist.. i am being a friend who listen, love and care.. wut is wrong with being a friend?

those friends who know me dearly wud noe how i appreciate friends.. how i always find a way to help em.. n people who noe me dearly noe dat i'm not dat kinda girl who people always assume i am.. i love to socialize but i noe my limits.. i noe where i'm heading and i draw a line when i need to..

abah.. it is sad dat i cudnt talk to u anymore.. it sucks dat i dun have u to cry with after all ths things dat people said about me.. but i will always remmber ur advice.. and i will not go even near to the border that u have drawn for me.. even u're not there to warn me, even u're not there to tell me wut is right n wut is wrong.. i noe for sure u will always be there to watch over me.. only ur spirit keeps me feel safe n secured.. ur love made me feel complete and satisfied.. and ur advice dat i shall remmber and carry thruout my life..

to those people.. pls.. stop doin this to me.. to anyone.. always believe in karma, wut goes around comes around.. as for me, i noe dat wutever happens, happened for a reason.. so cheer up lyla.. as long as u noe who u are, wut u do.. no one can bring u down.. :)

Ramadhan without Abah

Sigh..
i know tak baik mengeluh, esp di bulan yang mulia and penuh berkat ni..
but i really am miserable.. cuz i miss abah a lot.. A LOT..

every year.. i can't wait to come home to abah.. we talk, we laugh, we accompany each other.. n yes.. i do sleep with him every time i gt back, at least one night together.. abah is my life.. he is da best dad in the whole entire world, he is a great friend, he is my whole world.. there's no one cud replace him in my heart..

n not being with him this special month of ramadhan, and of course for raya, i dunno if i'm goin to be strong enuf to face this.. God, pls gimme the strength to face the world without abah.. and tempatkan abah di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.. he is a good person, a good husband and especially the best dad dat anyone cud ask for..

dayyyumm.. i must have gt carried away by one of Dr Ramzah's blog post.. or izzit just my inner part of me waiting for the time to explode for hiding this tears for months..

*sigh again..